Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
“Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

— Isaiah 6:8

             This post is about the greatest leap-of-faith that I’ve ever taken, to date. I made a decision based only on a deep feeling that God was calling me. Some people might call that crazy, and many of my family and friends did think I was crazy. I didn’t feel crazy. I felt a peaceful certitude. I could envision the end result. I didn’t know the details of how I was going to get there, but I prayerfully left those details to God. Here’s the story of what happened— you can be the judge.

             When the war in Ukraine began in February of 2022, my heart broke for the people of Ukraine. Such blatant injustice, such senseless killing, so many people suffering all because of one man’s greed. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how to get there or who to go with. That is, until I unexpectedly reconnected with a friend in August of 2022. This friend had been in Ukraine since March, offering medical training and organizing aid distributions.

             Through the influence and connections of this friend, I ended up helping run a mobile medical clinic in a rural village in eastern Ukraine (see “Ukraine – Mobile Medical Clinic” post). In early October, when the first discussions occurred of me traveling to Ukraine to help with relief efforts, it was a vague and distant possibility. Yet, I felt, at the deepest level of my being, that God was calling me to go. I prayed about it. On a whim, I looked up tickets from Little Rock to Warsaw, curious about prices. Surprisingly, they were fairly affordable— I had enough airline miles to buy a round trip, twice. I prayed again, and then… I bought a ticket.

             I bought a plane ticket weeks before I knew that I was going to Ukraine. When I bought it, I prayed, “I don’t know ℎ𝑜𝑤 you will make it happen, but if this is your will for me, Lord, I know that you will make a way.” At the time, I had no idea as to a possible itinerary, as I wasn’t aware of the planned clinic or the proposed dates for the clinic. I just “felt” for the right date and chose it. I felt almost like I was testing God, at the time. I felt sacrilegious, almost. I then promptly forgot about it, for a time, as no progress was made towards me going that way. I even put “cancel ticket” on my phone’s To Do list.

             But I didn’t get around to canceling the ticket. And through a series of circumstances that I had no control over & never could have foreseen, I was able to use that ticket. Not only that, but had I waited until all the steps on my path had been revealed, I would’ve had to use a lot more miles to buy an appropriate ticket. The ticket, on the date that I chose weeks in advance, turned out to be the best ticket for the circumstances. Since then, I’ve come to realize that maybe I wasn’t testing God. Maybe I was simply raising my hand and saying, “Here am I. Send me!”

             Anyone who knows me well, knows that I’m a planner. I like to have things mapped out well in advance, with a string of Plan X-Y-&-Z’s in place. I don’t usually buy plane tickets without a certainty that I’ll use them. (I wasn’t too far up crazy creek, as I could’ve gotten my miles refunded, had I been unable to use that ticket). For me, the whole Ukraine experience was a needed lesson in trusting God— trusting in His timing (see “God’s Timing” post) and in His provision. God usually doesn’t give us all the details in advance. And I’m (slowly) learning to be okay with that.